A Cattery Without Cats??!!

My Mom mentioned months ago that I should be a cat breeder. I was like, "noooo, I can't do that.I'm in rescue.". And then my brain kept chewing. She remembers the little girl who poured over cat books and cat fancier magazines, who wrote book reports not about novels but cat books. She remembers watching my face light up when we visited cat shows. She remembers that giant sweatshirt with a pink kitty nose and big blue eyes that I loved so much. She remembers. But I had kind of forgotten.

My brain refused to let it go though. And then JackPot stole my heart. And now I want RagDolls. I want to take a beautiful baby to shows (darn pandemic) and tell her how pretty she is. Okay, well, the boy (a man now....STOP IT!) wants a girl. He wants a tortie girl (my needs are not as specific but I'm definitely falling for these motled faced weirdos). He wants a gorgeous tortie girl with a personality like JackPot. And I tell you what, IF we find a gorgeous tortie with a personality like JackPot, well, that my friends, is one LUCKY DAY!

So I've been looking. And reading. And reading. And reading. And I've started asking questions. Here's the thing, a lot of people don't really like my questions. Which is understandable, they have other things to do with their time than hold my sweaty hand. I get it. But if there were shows (again, I say Dumb Pandemic) I could just casually ask while they're sitting around waiting for their turn with the judge. It would be a lot easier to gather information AND I could see the person and their cats and get a better feel for the quality of the information I would be receiving. Instead, there's the internet. And typing. And lack of facial expression or tone. And I've gotten myself into some hot water. Practically got my face chewed off the other day. It was so weird too, because I felt like I spent most of the exchange apologizing and thanking but in the end, I really got told where to go, complete with a veiled threat about how small the community is. You guys, it was intense, and it hurt my feels. I have to remember that none of us is at our best right now. I know this because I work with the public. I know this because I am not at my best right now. I know this because no one I know is at their best right now. So I'll assume that breeder is not either. Anywho.....no kitten for me from her!

And no kitten for me from several other breeders who aren't breeding torties. And no kitten for me from several breeders who don't have any kittens coming anytime soon. And maybe no kitten for me ever! Okay not really, but it was starting to feel like that. Until I found E! E has a gorgeous mama cat due next month and maybe, just maybe, she'll bring me (and the boy) exactly the kitten we're hoping for. But it's a big maybe. And IF I really want to do more than just show, if I want to further the line, then I'll need more, so I looked for more. A breeder found me and we've been chatting. Again, all through text so she doesn't know me. She doesn't know that I'm the kind of freak who can pick up cat puke with her bare hand without gagging, that my vet sometimes calls me for an extra set of hands, that all the cats in the neighborhood follow me when I take a walk. She doesn't know. And I find myself trying to tell her but it comes off as a little desperate. And I still have things to learn and I feel like when I ask questions I make the mistake of revealing that I don't know everything which can be misconstrued as "not ready". But I am ready, and I have questions. SO many questions. And one question leads to another question. And I don't have the experience to look at a kitten and know how it will grow because in rescue, we're just happy when they grow. I wish websites offered more information. I wish that breeders answered more of the seemingly really common questions on their pages. I have a feeling this would alleviate some of the frustration people feel. I wish it was easier to feel like I could set myself up for success and not feel like I either need to reinvent the wheel or be shunned because I don't know everything. Everything is a LOT to know, you know? Honestly, it all reminds me of when I was trying to learn to be a chocolatier and had to import books and supplies from Europe because anyone doing the really beautiful stuff here was guarding their secrets.

Anyway, I have no cats (well, no show cats). But I have the possibility of cats and THAT is super exciting. I look forward to learning with them, hopefully finding some great new friendships, maybe a kind mentor or two or three. I look forward to cat shows returning and spending the day with my mom, talking about who has the cutest curtains and the friskiest cats, complaining that the judges didn't score my cat the way I wanted them to, and being thrilled for whomever wins the blue ribbon. Winning or not winning, any day spent with kitties is a LuckyDay for sure.