How to raise a best friend

Have you ever watched a preschooler carry a kitten?  It can be a little cringe inducing. They often have an arm threaded just under the armpit of the kitten, legs dangling, tail swishing back and forth. They plop down on the floor bringing the kitten sharply down with them. Sometimes they get sidetracked and start building a barbie dream home out of legos. Sometimes they grab and book and read a story to the kitty that they’ve likely just shoved into their lap. Littles dress their kitties in doll clothes, they drive them around on Tonka tractors. They share their snacks and take their kitties nighnigh. I used to take mine from teaparty to bathtime and would sometimes carry him while I rollerskated in the culdesac. Kiddos know that their cats want to spend time with them, there is no question in their minds. They don’t ask permission, they don’t even think about consent. They just think about how much they love their kitty. Kids just want to share their time and activities with their kitty. My kitty, Ziggy, knew every secret, every song, but most importantly he knew that i ADORED him. And because of that he was willing to play along with most of my little kid nonsense. 

Someone told me today that I was the cat whisperer.  Honestly, all I did was make eye contact, smile a soft smile, and tell her she was
beautiful. I didnt say “good girl” because she’s not a dog. She’s a cat and she doesn’t care if you think she’s a good girl. She wants to be adored. So that is my advice to you: Adore your cat. Sing her lullabies. Invite her to bed.  Throw her a teaparty. Don’t ask her if she wants to come to the kitchen with you, assume she wants to come to the kitchen with you. Go ahead, show her what’s in the fridge and ask her to weigh in on your midnight snack. Don’t wait for her to come to you. Bring her along.   

And listen to your breeder when she says to quarantine in a space the size of a bathroom until she is confident there and with you before expanding her space to a room the size of a bedroom, before taking her on short parades around the house. Let her focus on you, on trusting you, on believing that you adore her. Don’t overwhelm her with your whole home and its inhabitants. Take it slow. follow her lead. And tell her how pretty she is everytime she looks your way.